Dear Colleague:
           
Rapport – What is it? Most people will agree that building rapport is one of the first and most important steps in the sales cycle. To build rapport, one seeks to establish some common ground with the prospect. That commonality should serve to bond the prospect closer to the salesperson – increasing their  level of confidence, comfort and trust.

            Far too many sales people see the act of building rapport as having only one dimension. To these people, building rapport means making small talk to see if the prospect likes a certain sport, knows some specific person, or has a familiarity with some other place or thing. Does the following sound familiar:

            Salesperson:   Good morning, Mr. Smith. Did you see the ball game on TV last night?
                 Prospect:   No,  I don’t follow sports.
            Salesperson:   Oh! Do you know John Davis from XYZ Company?
                 Prospect:   No,  I never even heard of him.
            Salesperson:   Well, Mr. Smith, how was your weekend? Did you do anything exciting?
                 Prospect:   Not really.

            If you think this scenario is unrealistic, it’s not. Right now as you are reading this article, there are similar conversations going on in business offices throughout the world, and the salesperson believes that this is how he or she is going to establish rapport on this sales call. It isn’t always that a salesperson will get dead ended like in the above example, and you might even be able to recover from this situation. But why limit yourself to merely verbal communication, and chance boxing yourself in, with no other alternatives?

            Are you aware studies have shown that only 7% of what is communicated between people is transmitted through the words themselves? An additional 38% comes through the tone of voice. I can recall as a child hearing my mother raise her voice to a high, sharp pitch and say “Steven!” The name only meant that she was directing her communication to me. The tonality of her voice conveyed the whole message. Can you recall a similar situation in your life? What is the whole message. Can you recall a similar situation in you life? What is the sound that you hear? What is the picture that you see? And what was the message when your name was called? How you say something carries a stronger message than what you say. And remember, when listening to your prospect, the same holds true.
           
            Although tonality adds a second dimensions to the rapport process, that only covers 45% of what is conveyed when building rapport. The remaining 55%, and the largest component of communication between people, is the results of physiology. The facial expressions, gestures, and the quality and types of movements provide much more about what is being said than do the words by themselves. Did you ever wonder why you find yourself laughing at some of the four-letter word jokes or some of the insults handed out by a comedian? It’s not because of the words, it’s the delivery – tonality and physiology – that makes you laugh.

            Without these additional two dimensions, you are trying to develop rapport by the choice of words alone, and you are giving up 93% of the tools available to you. Gaining that confidence, comfort and trust from a prospect will take longer, if it happens at all. Stop shooting from the hip, using the “shotgun” approach, and hoping to hit your target. Apply all three components – physiology, tonality, and word content – through the “rifle” approach, and score faster and bigger in building rapport.

           
            So how do you add these dimensions to your advantage? Your voice has always had a certain tonality, and your body has always made definite movements. Are they the ones that will develop a rapport the fastest with your prospect? One of the best ways to communicate commonality to a prospect is by creating a common physiology with that person. What you want to do is mirror your prospect. Take your prospect’s voice patterns – pitch, speed, volume – and use them when returning the conversation. Notice your prospect’s posture, eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, breathing patterns, or any other distinctive movements, and match these same motions during your conversation. What you will find happening is the physiology and tonality will work on the unconscious mind while the words are working on the conscious mind. When a prospect sees himself or herself in you, then their brain begins to think, “This person is like me, and must be OK.” The famous hypnotherapist Dr Milton Erickson found that by mirroring individuals he could achieve a totally binding rapport binding rapport in a matter of minutes. Sound absurd? It will in the beginning, but not if you have the guts to try it. When it works , you will find you have just gained a short-cut in your sales cycle.

            You already have all three tools available to you. Don’t short change yourself by limiting your rapport building skills to idle conversation. If you practice and get strong at developing rapport, you will find that you will be able to … See what your prospect, hear what your prospect hears, and feel what your prospect feels.

            So when it comes to BUILDING RAPPORT – Are you using the “shotgun” or “rifle”? or ARE YOU JUST TALKING ABOUT IT?

Cordially,

Steve Taback